Learnig How To Live
by TheTroubledNeophyte
Summary: Surviving was something she does best. Surviving was something she did to face the world where she is all alone. But the moment she needs to survive the most becomes the moment she just wants to live. Her chances of living are getting slimmer now that the Games have reaped her. AU fem!Harry/Cato


**LEARNING HOW TO LIVE**

**CHAPTER 1: Calm Before the Storm**

The first memory I can remember was that of the sea.

I was but a child at the time and my mother and father took me on a boat ride with them. The weather was fair and the waves were calm, a perfect time for journeying the sea. I remember the warm laughter of my mother and the deep chuckles of my father as I splashed my hands through the waters that my little hands can reach. It was a picture perfect moment, no; it _could _have been a picture perfect moment. The skies suddenly turned grey and the soothing and calming motions of the waves turned strong and harsh. My mother held me close as my father directed the boat back to the shore. I can clearly remember my mother's voice as she tells me that everything was alright and we would be home soon, I can still remember her words '_Hayley, it's alright, we'll be home soon'_. I believed her, even if I can see my father struggling against the current of the waves, I still believed her. Her voice that was once calm and reassuring gained a panicked and tense edge to it the longer we are at the mercy of the sea, but still, my faith in her words never wavered. I clung to her solid warmth as the waves rocked our boat harshly away from the shore. Still, I felt no fear even when my father gave up on paddling our boat and held me and my mother tightly as we allowed the waves to carry us to where ever it wanted us to go.

The sea has always been a friend to the people of District 4 and my parents have never lied to me so even as I felt my mother's tears fall on my face and the hold my father has on us tighten, I did not fear. I trust my parents and they said that we would be alright so why should I fear? Why should I worry?

I remember my mother asking me to close my eyes and so I did. I remember my father's voice telling me how much he loves me and my mother. The next thing I knew, my parents and I were thrown off of our boat as it hit a group of boulders near the shore. I felt pain, pain that far exceeds the one I felt when I tripped on the sands of our District or when a crab my father has caught pinched me with its claws; it all pales in comparison to the pain I was suffering then. I opened my eyes and I saw my father on top of the rocks, my mother a few feet away from him. I was raising my hands to reach out to them when there was suddenly a green light, a light very different from the bright yellow light from our lamps and the lighthouse overlooking the sea. I saw that green light and I knew no more.

That was the time I learned to fear the sea. That was the time I learned that the sea is ever changing and that it does not cater to the whims of people. That was the time I learned that the sea is a fickle mistress.

I was too young then to face such events. It was hard to know that my parents were no longer with me and it was harder to watch as the winds carried their ashes to the sea.

Ever since my parents' death, I would always stay by the shore before any of the District's citizen, letting the waters lap at my feet and just staring out at the vast horizon. Sometimes I would talk to the sea, telling stories of what has been happening in my life, hoping that it would reach my parents. I do these things for comfort and company. My father was an only child and his parents have long since passed and my mother's sister, my only living relative left, refused to take me in. By talking to the sea, I can act like I'm not as alone as I actually am, I can act like every sound the water makes were my parents talking to me and every gentle caress of the wind on my face is their hand stroking my cheek.

Sometimes I would look at the waters and just gaze at my reflection, looking at all the similarities I had with my parents, it was a small comfort but one I clung tightly to. I would look at my green eyes and see my mother's own pair gazing at me and I could almost hear my father saying that he was glad I got my mom's eyes. I see my waist-length black hair and I remember my father's unruly mop and I remember my mother saying that she was happy I only got my father's hair colour and not his hair style. Then I would see my scar, the only visible reminder of their death. I got it from the jagged piece of wood that grazed my forehead when our boat collided with the rocks, or so I was told. I have a love-and-hate relationship with my scar, it is a painful reminder of my parent's death but it also makes sure that I never forget them no matter what I do.

I would just stay by the shore until Ron or Hermione gets me. Ron and Hermione are my best friends. Ron and I have been playmates ever since we were little whenever my parents would visit his or vice versa and we met Hermione once we started at the Academy.

The Academy is where District 4 children ages 8 to 17 are required to go to. There we were taught how to fish using nets, how to wield a spear and trident, how to clean a fish and basically everything that we need to know so that we can work well in our District. Aside from the District 4 know-how's that we learn from the Academy, they also teach us the history of our country, the history of Panem.

They say that back then our country was once just a small part of the world we live in but disaster fell and only our land remained standing. A man named Gellert Grindleward was the leader of our country back then and it was due to his leadership that our country remained while all the others fell.

He passed on his leadership to his adopted son Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr. Their style of ruling did not differ from one another. Both of them were strict leaders with ironclad fists. Some of the citizens felt that the hold of Riddle on the Districts was too tight and unjust, so they rebelled. The rebellion was headed by Albus Dumbledore, the head of District 13. They said that he was charismatic and was able to pull majority of the Districts to his side to join the Rebellion. They had the advantage in numbers but the Capitol, the center of Panem where the President and the elites reside, had the upper hand on weapons.

The Rebellion fought, struggled, and in the end they lost. President Riddle had the entire District 13 decimated, leaving nothing but a wasteland, turning the former group of 13 Districts into 12.

To ensure that there would be no more rebellion against the Capitol and to make sure that the other Districts would not share the same fate as District 13, President Riddle and all the heads of the District signed The Treaty of Treason.

The Treaty of Treason was President Riddle's way of punishing the Districts who fought against him. In penance for the uprising, each District shall offer up a male and female between ages 12 and 18 at a public Reaping. Those chosen would be called Tributes and shall be delivered to the custody of the Capitol. Once in the Capitol, the 24 Tributes would be transferred to a public arena where they will fight to the death, until a lone victor remains. The victor would bring pride and honour to his or her District. The Capitol would grace the District of the victor with money, food, and luxury while the other Districts shall mourn the death of their Tributes in silence. This pageant is called The Hunger Games.

Truth be told, The Hunger Games is the main reason why people bother sending their kids to the Academy. Why send your kid off to school when you can teach your child everything there is to fishing yourself? The Academy teaches us how to fight. They teach us where to aim our spear to kill instantly, they tell us how to angle our tridents so we can deal the largest amount of damage possible, they tell us where to stab our knives so our enemies can't fight back. Because of this our District had our fair share of victors in the Hunger Games. District 4 is one of the districts that were able to dominate the games early on, earning us the title of Career District along with Districts 1 and 2. Our first victor was a female Tribute who won the 5th Hunger Games and our success in the games continued since then.

It may seem harsh and heartless that we are trained for this kind of stuff but we are merely doing what we must to ensure that at least one of our Tributes would return alive. Other districts think that we are trained to kill, trained to bring honour and luxury to our district when all we've ever aimed for was to survive and spare ourselves the death of our children. It is always a solemn day when we must burn the body of our Tributes and let the wind carry their ashes to the sea. The family of the Tributes would never be the same again. We may not be able to save both of our Tributes but we could at least spare one family the weight of seeing your child die before your very eyes.

Last year, we were not so lucky to produce a victor. Penelope Clearwater, our female tribute, was killed at the cornucopia during the first day of the games. Our male tribute, Cedric Diggory, was able to last until there were only five of them left but since he was the only one without a partner in the Career alliance, he was dropped as dead weight. We mourned their death, the same way we did with the departed Tributes before them but none of us mourn more than their families did.

I know that Cedric's family never recovered from the loss of their only child. Mr. and Mrs. Diggory own a small greenhouse where they grow plants that can be used for medicine. I often go to their greenhouse to place some order for the apothecary I'm working at as an assistant. They would often have more than enough plants to give right away, I would just place my boss' orders and I would have the plants immediately but ever since the Games that took their son's life, they just slipped away. There were days when they are closed and on the rare times that they were open only the common plants are available. It made my job as assistant harder but I can't begrudge them of their grief.

Since the sudden decline of the Diggory's business, I have to go to extreme measures to obtain some of the rarer plants needed for the apothecary. I know that it would be too difficult to go around the entire District to search for the plants or trade with some of the wealthier families for the plants whenever we need them in the shop so I decided to just grow them myself. I searched the entire District for the plants that we often have to restock and grew them in an empty lot quite far from my home. It was difficult to find a suitable place for planting since District 4 is surrounded by sand but it was all worth it in the end.

My little garden is where I go to when Academy ends. It has been a routine of mine. I'm by the sea during the morning, studying at the Academy the rest of the day, tending to my garden during the afternoons, and working at the apothecary by the evenings. I'm so exhausted that by the time Mrs. Sprout, the owner of the apothecary, sends me home, I immediately collapse in my bed.

I've been living alone ever since my parents' tragic demise. I was supposed to go to the District Homes where orphaned children or elderly without anyone to care for them were sent to. I have heard stories about how they treat the people living in the homes from Ron's older brothers. They said that they work the children to the ground to earn their food and they give scraps to the elderly. I don't know if that is true or not but I'd rather not find out by going there. Lucky for me, Ron's mother; Mrs. Weasley, vouched for me and said that they would be taking care of me. They did not go back on their word and they took good care of me. The moment I learned how to get my own food, I left their care. They have seven children to take care of; they don't need me to add another mouth to feed. They were a bit reluctant at first, it was not until they saw that I can take care of myself did they agree to let me live on my own. I became independent at such a young age.

By the time I entered the Academy, I know which plants that grow on our district were edible and not, I know which reed could give the most air when under water, and I know which plant extracts were needed for different kind of stings. At a tender age of eight, I learned how to survive. At the age of eleven, I learned how to wield a knife. The Academy's weapons class served me well. Even if I can't properly learn how to throw a trident or a spear, because of the near-sightedness that I inherited from my father, I learned how to wield them in a ranged distance. That was alright with me though; I preferred the knife over the two of them. What I learned from the academy, I was able to use to my advantage.

Instead of trading what meagre things I have for food, I would go and hunt for my meal. It was not exactly legal but it is not outright forbidden. What I have caught would be my meal for the entire day. I feed myself and I get to keep the things I have. It is not exactly living my life to the fullest but living no matter how strenuous the condition is, is better than not living at all.

There are days when I get lucky and I would be able to catch more than I need. I can't exactly keep them since I don't have the things needed to preserve my catch. I would trade my excess catch for some ropes or if I'm extremely lucky I'd be able to trade for flint.

I often hear Ron and Hermione going on about how lucky I was that I was able to live with the predicaments in my life.

Me? Living? I forgot how to live when my parents died. What I do is not living it is surviving.

* * *

"I knew you'd be here." said Ron as he stood beside me on the shore

"I would be worried if you don't know where I was." I told him not removing my gaze from where I was staring "I'm not exactly unpredictable"

"Were you able to sleep?" asked Ron

"No, not at all" I said shaking my head "How about you?" I asked him, finally turning my gaze to his.

"No, I'm feeling a bit restless." he answered

"Who wouldn't be?" I said to him sitting down, not caring if my clothes become wet. "It's Reaping Day; I doubt that it's only the two of us who weren't able to sleep."

Silence followed my statement. Today was Reaping Day, the day when we would need to offer two sacrifices to appease the Capitol. Even the sea is unnaturally still today, even the sea bows down to the might of the Capitol. The leaves are not rustling even the few birds are quiet; even they know that a storm is coming.

"How many times is your name in today?" Ron asked me breaking the silence that we shared.

"Seven, you?" I asked him back.

"Same with you and Hermione." he replied

"You think it could be one of us?" I asked looking up at him.

"I doubt it. The eighteen year olds have their name in eight times and there are plenty of kids around reaping age. There is a bigger chance we won't be chosen." he assured me

"I hope you are right Ron, I hope you're right."

I saw Ron stretch a bit by my side before looking down at me.

"We better get ready, Hayl, see you later."

I waved him goodbye as he returned to his house. I grabbed a smooth rock beside me and rolled it in my hands.

"Happy Hunger Games," I said quietly before throwing the stone out to the sea "and may the odds be in my favour."

I turned back to return and get ready for the Reaping, all the while wishing that I would not be this year's offer to the Capitol.

**=END OF CHAPTER 1=**


End file.
